One Thousand Five Hundred and Seventy Six Million and Eight Hundred Thousand

In this age of billions and trillions, 1,576,800,000 may seem quite a small number. You might well be wondering why I have chosen 1,576,800,000 as a number to comment on. Well there is a good reason, and by the end of this blog you may well understand why I chose that number.

So let's do a little bit of mathematics.....

60 X 60 =3,600 (the number of seconds in an hour)
3,600 X 24 = 86,400 (the number of seconds in a day)
86,400 X 365 = 31,536,000 (the number of seconds in a year)
31,536,000 X 5  = 1,576,800,000 (the number of seconds in five years)

So why arbitrarily choose 5 years then?

scroll down for a clue

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It's my fifth birthday on Friday!!!!

Bargains by the Boxful!

As I said in the previous blog, we went up to Settle yesterday, and those of you who were waiting with bated breath to see what bargains I had purchased in the local charity shops would have been disappointed because I didn't mention either the bargains or the charity shops.

But fear not friends - I did visit the SCAD (Skipton and Craven Action for Disability) and the Help the Aged Charity Shops, and as usual there were bargains to be had!

First stop, after Mollie and Tom had devoured their Full Monty Chocolate Drinks, was the SCAD Charity Shop. A slow and careful peruse of the shelves revealed a CD of Malcolm Arnold Symphony No 1, which I purchased.

This CD also included Eric Coates [He of the Dam Busters March fame] Three Elizabeths Suite, Romanian Rhapsody by George Enescu and Tritsch Tratsch Polka by Johann Strauss II.

As the offer was 1 CD for £1.50, or two for £2.00 I selected a second CD (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang) The Sherman Brothers Musical based on the Ian Fleming Children's Story, about a phantasmagorical Car!

Having a Good Lady who is very pro Royalty, I also selected the following three DVDs - (donation only please)

I then moved on the the Help the Aged Charity Shop, and there I selected 6 video tapes. You may remember that last time I was in this shop they were selling at three for 99p. Today they were even more of a bargain - 10p per tape!!

Firstly a bit of culture with a capital "K". Margot Fonteyn and Rudolf Nuryev dancing in the Tschaikovsky Ballet Swan Lake.

 A Classic Film Starring Marilyn Monroe.

 A Classic War Story

 The delightful story of Gigi. Music by Lerner and Lowe (My Fair Lady)

and finally - a couple of James Bond Adventures

 



Anyone for a bargain then?

A Trip Out to Settle and Austwick

A week or so ago, Rachel phoned us and asked if we could have Mollie and Tom on Tuesday as she and Gary had to attend a funeral.

Those of you who know us well will know that whenever we have Mollie and Tom, if the weather is fine, we usually take them to Settle, and have a "Full Monty" - a chocolate drink topped with cream, a Cadbury chocolate flake and various other decorations.

You can see by Tom's expression what he thinks of it!!

Instead of pulling faces, Mollie just got on with enjoying her "Full Monty"

Mollie, Tom and Nan spent some time exploring the market, whilst I took a few photos of Settle on Market Day.

Market Day in Settle

The Market Stalls from the window of "The Naked Man Cafe" - Mollie and Tom were enjoying their Full Monty at this time!

Whilst I left Mollie, Tom and Nan to explore some of the shops and market stalls, I had a wander round Settle, and came across this Morris Minor parked at the back of the old Town Hall.

It was in pristine condition and looked as if it had just come out of the showroom. It was a bit of pure nostalgia, as my Dad used to run Morris Minors for many years, so I couldn't resist taking the odd photo or two.


I had a quiet chuckle at the security arrangement on the car. They were built long before car alarms and engine immobilisers were standard fitments, but the owner certainly had no intention of loosing his prize possession!

Note the huge chain fastened to the steering wheel!

After exploring Settle market (it happened to be Market Day) we then drove up to Austwick, where Mollie, Tom and Ruby had a great time splashing about in the local stream.

I took the opportunity to do a bit of photography in and around Austwick itself.

 The Village Green

Pretty stone built cottages near the village green

The Village Post Office and Stores

 Close up of the village store

Flower basket outside the Village Store

On previous blogs I will have mentioned the Game Cock - the village pub, where we always stop for a meal. I have also mentioned the quirkiness of the Gents Loos. As I had my camera in my pocket I just happened to take a couple of shots! (How kinky, I hear you say!)

 This sign is on the inside of the toilet door. I haven't worked out how you are supposed to escape!

 It's not every Gents that has a car radiator front mounted on the wall!

Closer inspection reveals it is the radiator from a Wolsley Hornet. (The Badge is missing) I wonder if you remember the Wolsley Hornet. It had a stable mate in the Riley Elf (both were basically different badged Mini's.)

This is where you are always guaranteed a first rate, well cooked, value for money, well presented meal!

Babysitting the Grandchildren and a Cat!

Over the next few days we are doing the "grandparent" bit. Sarah and Greg have gone off to Runswick Bay for a long weekend camping, and have taken their dog Raffie with them. This just leaves Olivia and the cat Tillie to be fed and watered!

Olivia is doing a bit of part time waitressing at the "Fisherman at Bingley"(as the new sign calls it) so we collected her after her shift last night and ferried her to a friends at Greengates

This morning it was a call at Hazlemere Ave to feed Tillie. Then I have to meet Olivia off the bus, feed Tillie and eventually take Olivia to the Fisherman's for her waitressing shift today, and collect her afterwards.

Similar arrangements are also in place for tomorrow, although in and amongst I have to play for a service at church at 10.30 and Dot and I are going to a BBQ given my one of my choir members during Sunday afternoon.

On Tuesday afternoon we have Mollie and Tom round to stay whilst Rachel and Gary attend a funeral.

Ransom!

On the first of July I did a blog about charity shops in Settle, and told you of the fact that I had purchased three video tapes for £1.00




In the course of this I said that even if the video tapes turned out to be rubbish, I would hardly feel cheated! The first one I watched was called “The Ring” and it turned out to be a load of hokum. Apparently if you viewed a certain piece of video you were destined to die within seven days. When four teenagers die a week after watching the videotape, and investigative journalist decides to try and unravel what is going on. She watches the videotape and has seven days left before she is supposed to die. From here on in it just gets more and more unbelievable!!



I have just got round to watching the second of the videotapes I purchased. It’s called “Ransom” and stars Mel Gibson as a wealthy executive who has a guilty secret and has his son kidnapped and held to a $2,000,000 dollar ransom.



To get the boy back Tom Muller (Mel Gibson) and his wife agree to pay the ransom, but at the payout things go drastically wrong, and the deal falls through. After this Muller realises that there had probably been very little chance of getting the boy back alive, but if he can stall payment he may have a chance, so he goes on national television and tells the unknown kidnappers that not only will he not pay the reward to get his son back alive, but he will hand the $2,000,000 to anyone who can bring the kidnappers to justice. When his wife tries to meet up with one of the kidnappers and is badly hurt, he increases the reward to $4,000,000 dollars, and from here on it the tension starts to mount………..


This video was worth the £1.00 cost itself!

Hot Music at the Crematorium Today!

It’s a funny old world. After having weddings flowing out of my ears over the last month and a half, (It’s the height of the wedding season), I was looking forward to a couple of weeks of relative peace and quiet. I have no weddings booked for next weekend and only one for the weekend afterwards. Hey! I forgot about the funerals, which obviously cannot be booked for weeks ahead.




I usually get about a couple of days notice, be it from church or from the local undertakers. This morning however it was not to be. At 9.45 am I was enjoying a leisurely cup of coffee when the phone rang. On picking it up I heard a rather worried voice at the other end, which said, “Are you doing anything this morning?” to which my response was “What time and where?”



It turned out that I was needed to play a funeral at Oakworth Crematorium at 11.30. Now I haven’t been to play a funeral at Oakworth Crematorium for about two and a half years, and my memrory of exactly where it was was a little rusty, so I asked for directions. These were duly supplied with the warning, “It’s supposed to take about 35 minutes to get there but we are giving ourselves an hour.”



I recall that the last time I played for a funeral here they had something which could hardly be called an organ. It had so many knobs, levers, buttons, bells, sound effects, drums, cymbals, drawbars tab stopsand flashing lights that I really didn’t know wether I was supposed to drive it or fly it! On talking to the Crematorium Manager I discovered that someone had donated it to the crematorium. It really wouldn’t have been out of place in a strip joint!



So a hasty breakfast followed. Music was collected, and a hymn book, and I headed to Oakworth.



On entering the crematorium the first thing I noticed was there was no organ! A quick scout around found me nothing but chairs and a catafalque, but no organ. I found the crematorium manager and he showed me that it had been moved into a little side room with curtains which hid it when they were drawn. “It’s on its last legs” he told me, “We’re getting another one from Morecambe on Thursday.”



I approached the beast with great trepidation and found that nearly everything on it had post-it notes affixed which said “Don’t use these they don’t work.” By trial and error I sussed out what did work, and had chance to have a play on the instrument before the coffin and the mourners arrived.



I only had one hymn to play, and as I started to play the hymn over, there was a loud “crack” from the innards of the instrument. On looking down I saw coils of acrid smoke rising from between the keys, as well as other coils of smoke rising from the back of the instrument. Only four verses to go before I have finished… dare I try and play all four verses before there was an electrical fire???



Well, I took my life into my hands and decided to try. Somehow I managed to get through the hymn before I half choked on the electrical burning smoke! I beat a hasty retreat after switching the thing off and disconnecting it from the mains!



Who said an organist’s life was dull and uneventful?

And it Only Cost £20,000,000

Well, it's all over! The flames have been extinguished. The Olympic Flag has been handed over. Soon the Olympic village will be deserted. How are we going to exist?

I opened up this morning's paper and was greeted with the tag line "weird and wonderful closing ceremony." I have to agree with the first word. Weird, it certainly was!

From the opening of a rush hour with paper covered roads, cars and lorries, to a gigantic plastic ocotopus with Fat Boy Slim doing his DJ bit I began to wonder if the director Kim Gavin was fully in control of all his mental faculties. He claimed that the ceremony would contain “an elegant mash-up of British music, a rich tapestry of British culture and life ... something people remember for years to come.”

Maybe I am out of touch, but who the h--l is Emeli Sande the girl who sang the opening number (Read All About It)? Ray Davis' Waterloo Sunset was a bit tedious, pretentious and far too long. Was the mic Annie Lennox was using not working properly? As she sailed in on a ghost ship with black sails all I could think of was the Marie Celeste!

As she finished her spot we were greeted by a giant octopus - what on earth had this to do with "an elegant mash up of British Music?

There were a few moments when things took a turn for the better......

The appearence of the Spice Girls in, and eventually on top of London Taxis lifted the pace a bit, The blowing up of the Trotters Reliant Robin, mixed with Michael Caine's immortal lines "You're only supposed to blow off the bloody doors", and Eric Idle's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!" help move things along, as did the John Lennon Sequence, and the building of a huge three dimensional face of him. Freddy Mercury footage also helped brighten up an otherwise overblown and dismally boring load of pretentious rubbish.

An overly long sequence whilst all the athletes entered the stadium did little to entertain or amuse.

The final act started with Boris Johnson (mayor of London) handing the Olympic flag to Jacques Rogge (the president of the IOC) who in turn handed it to Eduardo Paes, the mayor of Rio.

Those responsible for this so called entertainment included.....

CAST: 4,100 performers, including 3,880 adult volunteers and 380 schoolchildren from the six London Olympic boroughs




DIRECTOR: Kim Gavin (producer for Take That, Robbie Williams tours)



EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot, The Hours)



MUSICAL DIRECTOR: David Arnold (five Bond films, Björk, Shirley Bassey)



PRODUCTION DESIGN: Mark Fisher (stage design for Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the Rolling Stones, U2)



DESIGNER: Es Devlin (Lady Gaga, Royal Opera House)





All this lot cost £20,000,000! I hope you think it was worth it! 

Olympic Magic - The Greatest Show on Earth!

It's quite a while since I got down to doing a blog, but the opportunity has arisen and I have found a little time to do this blog!

You may be wondering why I have not been blogging. Blame it on the Olympic Games! Truth to tell I am not a very sport interested person, in fact the only sport I tend to follow quite regularly is the Formula One Racing.

By the time the Olympics had started I had a feeling that I was going to be sick to death of it, but no! the more I saw, the more I was drawn into it, and not just because Team GB were doing so well!

So let's stop and take stock of the events in the first week......

Lizzie Armitsead (Otley) Individual Silver 2012 Road Race


Jessica Ennis (Sheffield) Heptathlon Ennis, who opened the Olympic track meet Friday morning by running the 100-meter hurdles in a heptathlon record of 12.54 seconds, returned for the night session and picked up where she left off.

  Competing in front of a capacity crowd at the Olympic Stadium, many of them waving British flags, Ennis recorded a shot put of 14.28 meters (46 feet, 10¼ inches), then closed the night with another fast time on the track.

 Ennis closed the first day of the Olympic heptathlon by running the 200 meters in a personal-record 22.83 seconds to take a 184-point lead with three events left.
 
She finished with 4,158 points, while Lithuania’s Austra Skujyte had 3,974 and Canada’s Jessica Zelinka had 3,903.


Victoria Pendleton (Cycling) won the Individual Gold Medal at the 2012 Olympics in the Keirin

Rebecca Adlington (Mansfield – Nottingham) Individual Bronze in 400m & 800m freestyle. She won 2 Golds in the same event in 2008, Making her Britain's most successful Olympic swimmer ever!


The Men’s Team Pursuit: The British men’s quartet of Edward Clancy, 27; Geraint Thomas, 26; Steven Burke, 24, and Peter Kennaugh, 23, crossed the line in 3 minutes, 51.659 seconds in the team pursuit, winning the Gold Medal, and breaking the record time. Australia got silver and New Zealand won bronze.


Men’s Team sprint

Great Britain's team consisting of Philip Hindes, Chris Hoy and Jason Kenny won the gold medal with a time of 42.6 seconds, breaking the world record.


ROWING: Helen Glover and Heather Stanning cannot quite believe they were Team GB's first gold medallists of the London 2012 olympics. The gold medal drought finally ended after Heather Stanning and Helen Glover stormed to victory in the final of the women's pairs at Eton Dorney.

The Britons led the 2km race from start to finish, setting off like a rocket and getting clear water over their nearest rivals within 500m.

As they entered the last 500m, Eton Dorney erupted in a wall of noise to cheer them home, just before noon, in a time of seven minutes 27.13 seconds.

As they crossed the line, Glover punched the air and collapsed backwards into the arms of Stanning, who hugged her team-mate and covered her eyes in disbelief.

Speaking after receiving their medals, Stanning said it was "surreal but fantastic" to win.


Katherine Grainger and Anna Watkins steamed to gold in the double sculls


Great Britain won the men's coxless fours for the fourth successive Olympics, edging out Australia in a thrilling final at Eton Dorney.

 Pete Reed, Andy Triggs Hodge, Tom James and Alex Gregory led from start to finish, with USA taking bronze.

It was British rowing's third gold medal of the regatta to match their record haul in London in 1908.

And it took the rowing team's medal total to seven, making it their most successful Olympics in the modern era.



Greg Rutherford won the Long Jump Gold Medal

  Mo Farah won the 10,000 meters Gold Medal

  Jessica Ennis won the Heptathlon Gold and stormed home in the 800 meters


Then in the second week we had Usian Bolt winning the 100 and 200 metres.


Nicola Adams (from Leeds) totally destroyed Ren Cancan (China) in the women's Flywieght final to win yet another gold for GB. This meant that the total of golds won surpassed those won in Beijing! At the moment we are 5 in excess of the Beijing total!

Add to this the number of Personal Bests, Olympic Records, European Records and World Records that have been broken and we truly have had "The Greatest Show on Earth!"