The All New Doggy Diet

I received this e mail yesterday from a friend and thought you might find it funny...

Yesterday I was at my local supermarket buying a large bag of dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.


What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the new Dog Food Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Dog Food nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's bum and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

I'm now banned from the supermarket!

Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.