And it Only Cost £20,000,000

Well, it's all over! The flames have been extinguished. The Olympic Flag has been handed over. Soon the Olympic village will be deserted. How are we going to exist?

I opened up this morning's paper and was greeted with the tag line "weird and wonderful closing ceremony." I have to agree with the first word. Weird, it certainly was!

From the opening of a rush hour with paper covered roads, cars and lorries, to a gigantic plastic ocotopus with Fat Boy Slim doing his DJ bit I began to wonder if the director Kim Gavin was fully in control of all his mental faculties. He claimed that the ceremony would contain “an elegant mash-up of British music, a rich tapestry of British culture and life ... something people remember for years to come.”

Maybe I am out of touch, but who the h--l is Emeli Sande the girl who sang the opening number (Read All About It)? Ray Davis' Waterloo Sunset was a bit tedious, pretentious and far too long. Was the mic Annie Lennox was using not working properly? As she sailed in on a ghost ship with black sails all I could think of was the Marie Celeste!

As she finished her spot we were greeted by a giant octopus - what on earth had this to do with "an elegant mash up of British Music?

There were a few moments when things took a turn for the better......

The appearence of the Spice Girls in, and eventually on top of London Taxis lifted the pace a bit, The blowing up of the Trotters Reliant Robin, mixed with Michael Caine's immortal lines "You're only supposed to blow off the bloody doors", and Eric Idle's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life!" help move things along, as did the John Lennon Sequence, and the building of a huge three dimensional face of him. Freddy Mercury footage also helped brighten up an otherwise overblown and dismally boring load of pretentious rubbish.

An overly long sequence whilst all the athletes entered the stadium did little to entertain or amuse.

The final act started with Boris Johnson (mayor of London) handing the Olympic flag to Jacques Rogge (the president of the IOC) who in turn handed it to Eduardo Paes, the mayor of Rio.

Those responsible for this so called entertainment included.....

CAST: 4,100 performers, including 3,880 adult volunteers and 380 schoolchildren from the six London Olympic boroughs




DIRECTOR: Kim Gavin (producer for Take That, Robbie Williams tours)



EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: Stephen Daldry (Billy Elliot, The Hours)



MUSICAL DIRECTOR: David Arnold (five Bond films, Björk, Shirley Bassey)



PRODUCTION DESIGN: Mark Fisher (stage design for Pink Floyd’s The Wall, the Rolling Stones, U2)



DESIGNER: Es Devlin (Lady Gaga, Royal Opera House)





All this lot cost £20,000,000! I hope you think it was worth it!