Let me put my cards on the table right from the word go. I would say that I am something of a traditionalist. I am proud to have been born an English man and absolutely abhor those who would dilute the culture and traditions which make up our heritage.
One of my pet hates is the so called “Politically Correct Lobby” – that faceless mass of people who would have us become so watered down that we would mean all things to all people, and in the end, nothing to anybody!
It is at this time of year that I really begin to see red when the politically correct brigade try to tell us that Christmas should be done away with in case it causes offence to those of other faiths.
Only a month or so ago I saw an illuminated sign strung across the streets of Bradford which read Happy Deepwali. If this can be accepted by Christians, why would it be frowned on by the politically correct brigade to string a similar illuminated banner across the streets which says Happy Christmas?
But the bad news is the problem is not one of local feelings. Apparently there is a move afoot at national level to eradicate the celebration of Christmas. I kid you not. Harriet Harman’s controversial Equality Bill could ultimately lead to eradicating Christmas.
Already the Roman Catholic Bishops have warned that the complex legislation will have the effect of town halls and other organisations clamping down on festivities for fear of offending other cultures.
Under existing legislation we have seen the development of a risk – averse culture, with outcomes as ridiculous as reports of a local authority instructing tenants to take down Christmas Lights in case they might offend Muslim neighbours, or of authorities removing the word Christmas out of “cultural sensitivity” to everyone except Christians. I recall last year a local authority (not too far away from here) trying to replace the word Christmas with the words Winter Festival.
As Scrooge would say “Bah Humbug!”
Isn’t it time we stood up to this faceless bunch of politically correct pratts and told them just what to do with their political correctness?
Just as a bit of light relief, I offer you the following piece of politically correct poetry based on the famous poem The Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and Santa's a wreck...
How to live in a world that's politically correct?
His workers no longer would answer to "Elves".
"Vertically Challenged" they were calling themselves.
And labour conditions at the North Pole
were alleged by the union to stifle the soul.
Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety,
Released to the wilds by the Humane Society.
And equal employment had made it quite clear
That Santa had better not use just reindeer.
So Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
Were replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!
The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
The ruts were termed dangerous by the E.P.A.
And people had started to call for the cops
When they heard sled noises on their rooftops.
Second-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened.
His fur trimmed red suit was called "Unenlightened."
And to show you the strangeness of life's ebbs and flows,
Rudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
And had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation,
Demanding millions in over-due compensation.
So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife,
Who suddenly said she'd enough of this life,
Joined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz,
Demanding from now on her title was Ms.
And as for the gifts, why, he'd never had a notion
That making a choice could cause so much commotion.
Nothing of leather, nothing of fur,
Which meant nothing for him. And nothing for her.
Nothing that might be construed to pollute.
Nothing to aim, Nothing to shoot.
Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise.
Nothing for just girls, or just for the boys.
Nothing that claimed to be gender specific.
Nothing that's warlike or non-pacifistic.
No candy or sweets...they were bad for the tooth.
Nothing that seemed to embellish a truth.
And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden,
Were like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden.
For they raised the hackles of those psychological
Who claimed the only good gift was one ecological.
No baseball, no football...someone could get hurt;
Besides, playing sports exposed kids to dirt.
Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
And Nintendo would rot your entire brain away.
So Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
He just could not figure out what to do next.
He tried to be merry, tried to be gay,
But you've got to be careful with that word today.
His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
Nothing fully acceptable was to be found.
Something special was needed, a gift that he might
Give to all without angering the left or the right.
A gift that would satisfy, with no indecision,
Each group of people, every religion;
Every ethnicity, every hue,
Everyone, everywhere...even you.
So here is that gift, it's a price beyond worth...
May you and your loved ones, enjoy peace on Earth!
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