Undisciplined Children

I don’t know what the other morning papers have had as their main lead stories, but the Yorkshire Post led with the terrible affair of the two boys who had attacked and assaulted two similar age children as their front page news item on Friday, then on Monday an inside page story told of the executive director of Barnado’s demanding that social workers have less focus on fixing families that can’t be fixed, and be more pro-active in removing children who are at risk.

Today an inside page analysis and opinion article by Neil McNicholas (Vicar of Whitby St Hilda’s Church) has the headline “By excusing their behaviour we are failing a new generation of children.”

In the article he argues (quite rightly in my opinion) that one of the major factors contributing to children of this type is the breakdown of the traditional family and the rise in the number of unmarried mothers. He goes on to state that our Social Security System in effect is paying young women, in many cases not much older than the children themselves, to have more children. The more children they have, the more money they receive through Child Benefit and other allowances. He questions whether these children are really wanted, and what parenting skills these young unmarried mothers have.

Then he raises the question of discipline. How many of these children know the meaning of the word “No!” Too many of these children have never heard the word “No!” or if they have, nothing ever happens if they ignore it.

Those of us who were taught the difference between right and wrong and were taught to do as we were told, and knew the consequences if we ignored it may struggle to understand how anyone could not have learned such basic lessons, but if no one is teaching them, how can such lessons be learned?

By excusing present behaviour and failing to address it and effectively deter it, we are failing our children exactly as their parents failed them.

The former Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Keith Hellawell has said that “Society as we know it is collapsing about us and no one appears to be doing anything about it. There are still many families who bring up their children to respect others in the way they would wish to be respected themselves. However they are in danger of being outnumbered by those who care for little but themselves.”

I read all this as a plea for discipline by caring parents for their children. If discipline in the wider sense of the word fails we have anarchy. Do we really want that?