An Entertaining Afternoon at the Electrical Superstore

The all new Dyson DC 25 Animal - the ultimate in household floor cleaning etc!

We paid a visit to a Comet Electrical Superstore on Saturday afternoon as it had been decided that we needed a new vac.

I don’t know if you have ever experienced the delights of a salesman who tries to sell you something he knows absolutely nothing about, but to say the least it is entertaining. We got a young gentleman, who opened the conversation up by saying “I don’t usually work in this section”, which filled me with great hopes of an entertaining afternoon.

I was not disappointed.

If I am going to make a purchase at a superstore, I always do my home work first, and in the case of a new vacuum cleaner that meant comparing such things as the motor power (in watts), air power (the actual suction – in watts), Hosepipe length, mains cord length, dust container capacity, has it a turbo pet hair type brush, does it have HEPA filtration (an anti allergy system)? - does it have floor head adjustments for carpets/parquet floor? What weight is it? – Is a guarantee included – for how long- in other words all the things a salesman ought to know about the product he is trying to sell you.

My first question – what is the suction power in watts – caused a glazed look to come over his face, then he went over to the counter computer and assured me that he would be able to tell me the answer to my question. I followed him over to the computer, and watched and waited. His eyes lit up with a gleam and he proudly announced that it was 2,300 watts!

It was at this point that I had to disillusion him and told him that if the suction power was 2,300 watts the machine would in all probability rip the carpet from the floor and probably rip the floor from the joists. What he had actually given me was the power of the motor!

After suggesting various Hoover models to us, I told him that we had a Dyson, but that we had found it fairly heavy to carry upstairs. What was the weight of the Hoover? Again it was a trip to the computer, and within seconds he proudly announced that it was only 606 kg. Once again I had to disillusion him and point out that the heaviest vacuum on display was only 8.9 kg – maybe there was a misprint. On looking at the screen myself I saw that the actual weight was given as 6.06 kg.

Still smiling (probably between gritted teeth) he continued to try his best to sell us a vacuum cleaner. Eventually he settled on what was know as a lightweight Dyson (only 5.4 kg) but when I asked what the suction power was it turned out to be almost a half the power of all the other vacuum cleaners! In other words light weight in weight and light weight in suction!

Let’s give him another chance I thought. After all he has been very pleasant all the way through. So I suggested he may like to show us a Dyson which had a turbo attachment (as we have a dog which sheds hair from time to time). He introduced us to a DC25 Animal – one of the new generation of Dyson machines which works on a ball system, not wheels, so in effect a simple twist of the wrist can immediately alter the direction of the machine. He even demonstrated it to us on the shop floor, and let us play with it too!

That was the clincher.

We are now the proud owners of a brand spanking new Dyson DC25 Animal.

Come on, get a move on Ruby, we are waiting with baited breath to see how it will pick up your hairs, when you next start shedding your coat!

What a Catalogue of Fun

After all the bad news and grumbles, some photographs to raise a smile!

A Day in the Life of an Inner City London School

'My school is like a war-zone' Is this the reality of some schools today?

It might be a good idea if Ed Balls and the Ofsted Gang went into this school unnanounced and saw the reality for themselves. Maybe if Ed and his Osfsted Gang were left to teach in the school for a week.......

The following should be compulsory reading for Ed Balls and his gang.

Teaching at schools in deprived London boroughs is like working in a war-zone, says one disillusioned young teacher.

The 25-year-old, who does not wish to be named for fear of losing his job, says he has been threatened with a range of weapons and kicked and punched for real.

As soon as you walk through the school doors - you have absolutely no idea what will happen - it's like a war-zone.

There's extreme cases of bullying - some teachers are in tears every day.

"It comes to the stage where the curriculum doesn't even come into it. I am satisfied just if I get the kids to be nice to one another." He continued: "In my first year I was threatened with a knife."

"A boy had one in his pocket and he went to grab it - another teacher had to restrain him. Eventually the boy was excluded," he explains.

Most recently, when he and another teacher were helping with an after-school event, they had to remove a group of youngsters who had climbed over a fence.

"A few of the pupils had tried to get in without tickets and so we told them to get out. They wouldn't so I had to physically remove them. I picked one of them up and threw him out and he turned round and told me to go and get a bullet proof vest - that he would be back."

He says he and his colleagues take this sort of threat with a pinch of salt but one day the person making the threat might just follow through.

That day armed police arrived from a nearby police station and the group ran off.

Our teacher says these sort of incidents are a daily occurrence in most inner London schools.

"We have to fill in so many statements and reports. We spend most of the time babysitting rather than teaching. I am 25 and when I went into teaching I didn't think my days would be spent making sure pupils didn't injure themselves or others."

"I thought I would be teaching. Really I am a cross between a social worker and some kind of policeman. I know a lot of the children have really difficult backgrounds and some of them don't go home to parents at all but there is a big difference between what people think teachers are doing and what they actually do."

"Once in a blue moon you get a sense of achievement - when you get through to someone."

He says there is a police officer attached to the school in the deprived London borough in which he works.

But even so, many incidents go unpunished or children escape with three-day exclusions rather than something more permanent.

"I don't think that we, as teachers, are equipped with the powers to deal with what goes on. I feel senior management don't use their powers to support us. "

He cites the case of a teacher who was spat at on numerous occasions. The pupil's mother was called in, but the pupil got away with a slap on the wrists.

So what makes him turn up at the school gates every morning?

"Once in a blue moon you get a sense of achievement - when you get through to someone.
But that's in an emotional sense not an educational one. That makes you feel good.
I have good relationships with some of the children - like my form group - I love them to bits.
I don't want to let them down."


Here is another example of our broken society. Isn't it time we got to grips with this kind of problem and came down like a ton of bricks on these thugs? The liberal minded and woolly thinkers of our society have let this kind of situation develop. Let's nip it in the bud before it is too late.

And how can we do this? Well remember that there is a general election coming up in the not too distant future. Find out your MP's view on law and order, and if they have a zero tolerance policy towards offenders THEN VOTE FOR THEM.

This is your country. Do you really want it to become even less law abiding than it is at present? Do you want anarchy to rule in the cities of our land? Think of the future for yourselves and your children.

What A Rotten Shower

David Chaytor - Charged by the CPS

Elliott Morley - Charged by the CPS


Jim Devine - Charged by the CPS

Lord Hanningfield (the Tory MP) - Charged by the CPS

I thought you might find the table below of interest. It shows the local MP’s claims and what they have had to repay

Name

Constituency
Party
Repayment
Appealed
Reduction
Outstanding


Michael Wood
Batley & Spen
Lab
£1,399.83
No
No Reduction
£0


Rosie Winterton
Doncaster Central
Lab
£9,972.35
No
No Reduction
£0


Philip Willis
Harrogate & Knaresborough
Lib
£5,363.74
No
No Reduction
£0


Gerry Sutcliffe
Bradford South
Lab
£2,786.14
No Reduction
No
£2,786.14


Marsha Singh
Bradford West
Lab
£5,026.84
No Reduction
No
£5,026.84


Barry Sheerman
Huddersfield
Lab
£557.21
No
No Reduction
£245.26


Terence Rooney
Bradford North
Lab
£297.02
No
£297.02


Linda Riordan
Halifax
Lab
£2,171.81
No
No Reduction
£2,171.81


George Mudie
Leeds East
Lab
£182.51
No
No Reduction
£0


Austin Mitchell
Great Grimsby
Lab
£10,627.07
No
No Reduction
£0


Greg Knight
Yorkshire East
Con
£2,259.99
No
No Reduction
£0


Fabian Hamilton
Leeds North East
Lab
£9,734.74
Yes
£3,186.59
£0


William Hague
Richmond (Yorkshire)
Con
£601.14
No
No Reduction
£0


Caroline Flint
Don Valley
Lab
£572.00
No
No Reduction
£0


Phillip Davies
Shipley
Con
£232.64
Yes
£232.64
£0


David Curry
Skipton and Ripon
Con
£1,676.48
No
No Reduction
£0


Ann Cryer
Keighley
Lab
£18,241.70
Yes
£16,646.45
£0


Yvette Cooper
Pontefract and Castleford
Lab
£1,363.21
No
No Reduction
£0


Nick Clegg
Sheffield Hallam
Lib
£910
No
No Reduction
£0


Gordon Brown
Kirkcaldy and Cowdenbeath
Lab
£12,888.03
No
No Reduction
£0


Ed Balls
Normanton
Lab
£1,363.17
No
No Reduction
£0


David Cameron
Witney
Con
£237.07
No
No Reduction
£0


I’ve also included the three main party leaders – Gordon Brown, David Cameron & Nick Clegg, as well as Ed Balls and his wife Yvette Cooper.

It’s interesting to note that the big claimants in the list are all Labour Party members (Gordon Brown - £12,888.03), (Anne Cryer - £18,241.70), (Austin Mitchell - £10,627.07), (Rosie Winterton - £9,972.35) and (Fabian Hamilton - £9,734.74), and with the exception of Ann Cryer and Fabian Hamilton have had to fully repay their claims. Those who have not so far repaid are also Labour Party members.



Three Labour MP’s are to face prosecution for their expense claims. They are David Chaytor (3 charges), Elliott Morley (2 charges), and Jim Devine (2 charges). Lord Hanningfield the Tory MP also faces 6 charges by the Criminal Prosecution Service.

The three Labour MP’s have already issued a statement to say that they will vigorously defend themselves.

Isn't It Time We Sorted Out The Apostrophe?

I wonder if you saw the recent news item which questions if we are becoming a nation of illiterates?

Councils across the UK have had to fork out hundreds of pounds to correct street signs boasting spelling and punctuation mistakes.

Brighton and Hove City Council spent £165.29 to correct a wall sign for St James's Street in Kemp Town that had been erected without the apostrophe.

In Bournemouth £20 was spent correcting a sign that had put the apostrophe in "children's" in the wrong place. Considerably more was spent in Ashford to replace two signs that contained spelling mistakes; the total cost of repairs came to £204.74.

Two new street nameplates cost Dover District Council about £100 in July 2005. "It was in respect of Wilcox Close, Aylesham," a spokesperson explained. "The error was that a nameplate had been ordered with a double 'l', so the error was that of the district council."

Just last year Birmingham City Council announced it was abolishing apostrophes from road signs. St Paul's Square (see picture at the top of this blog) became St Pauls Square in one of many changes the council said it was making for the purposes of consistency and to avoid confusion over whether place names should take an apostrophe.

Wasn't [short for was not] there once a rule taught in schools which said "If it belongs to somebody then it's [short for it is] apostrophe s. [John's book - the book belonging to John] Similarly if a letter is missing an apostrophe should be inserted at the point of the missing letter.

Fun and Games This Morning

Hi There folks! It's Ruby here.

I don't know about you, but on a morning I usually get up and stick my nose out of the door and then go out and stretch my legs, but not this morning. It was decidedly cold - in fact 4 degrees below freezing. So one sniff of the cold air and I headed straight back inside the house and on to my lovely warm bed, which is by the side of the radiator.

I don't know if I've mentioned it. but we have a special guest staying with us at the moment. It's my Auntie Sarah. (She's the one who spoils me something rotten, and if she gets the chance she lets me sleep on her bed when I am at her house.)

Anyway, when she comes downstairs I usually make a great big fuss of her, and she usually lets me go out with her to her car. (Sometimes if I'm lucky, I get a ride in the car with her too!)

Well this morning, as I hadn't been out earlier, I went out to her car, and then decided I needed a wee, so I crossed over the road and went about 200 yards up the road. By now the Lord and Master was calling me to come back, but I thought it would be a good idea to cross back over the road and go into the field.

He thought he'd cornered me when I went up the snicket, but some kind person had left the gate open into the field, so in I went and had a good romp up the field!





(That's me in the field having a good romp in the snow earlier last week.)

He's dead crafty. He waved his hands about like he does when he has a treat for me, and I came running down to him. He caught me by my collar and marched me back home.

I don't think he was too pleased with me for running off, but I think I've been forgiven because I've had lots of cuddles from him! When Sarah came back after school, she made a big fuss of me.

In the Bleak Mid Winter.......

Sing lustily, stamp your feet, wave your arms about and become a "happy clappy" or you'll never feel warm!

It's amazing! whenever there is a snap of cold weather, problems with central heating immediately begin to rear their ugly heads.

I play the organ at the church pictured above, which is a lovely old church, with a lofty ceiling inside it, and consequently the heating needs to have been on for two or three hours before the floor level of the church begins to feel warm, particularly during the extremely cold weather.

We have an oil fired heating system, which is fitted with a frost stat. This means that whenever the outside temperature drops below freezing, the heating automatically starts to run. At least that is the theory behind the frost stat! On three of the last four Sundays, when the frost stat was supposed to have kicked in it simply blew the main fuse and hey presto! there was no heating running. Sitting in the church felt a bit like sitting in the freezer of your fridge!

On three occasions a heating engineer has been summoned (I think from Northants!) and he has now decided that the problem lies with the fact that when the temperature drops below freezing and the frost stat kicks in, the oil is thicker that usual and so the motor, which should feed the oil to the boiler in the heating system simply doesn't turn straight away consequently the fuse blows!

Pipe organs are very susceptible to extremes of temperature and twice in the last four weeks I have had notes stick on and continue to play whilst I have stopped playing them. The resulting sound is something similar to out of tune bagpipes...... There is a wedding in the church tomorrow and I dread to think what might happen, as a visiting pianist is coming to play the organ for it!

If the frost stat has blown the central heating fuse again, and the organ sounds like a set of badly tuned bagpipes it could be a memorable occasion!

Microwave Back to Full Health!

The latest news on the Microwave Front.........

The microwave has been fully resusitated by a very kind and knowledgable man called Mr Hardy. The machine was anaesthetised and then given a new internal body part (A high powered fuse.) After a short period in ICU (Intensive Care Unit) it has made a full recovery.

LWM for the Household

A new era began in this household on Saturday.

Let me explain. I had used the microwave to heat my morning coffee as I usually do, and no problems, but at “Elevenses” time, I again put a beaker of coffee into the microwave to heat it up, and after the usual 1minute 30 seconds, I opened the door and got the coffee out to discover it was stone cold.

Thinking I may have set the heat setting to 10% rather than 100% I had another try, with the same results. I then tried the grill, which was working perfectly, but after a third attempt at heating coffee with the same results as the previous two attempts I decided that the microwave section of the machine had gone on strike.

After consulting the Amalgamated Union of Microwaves (to ascertain that there were no strikes pending), and ensuring that it was being paid at least the minimum wage and had no grievances I reluctantly decided that it was in need of further care, or that it had died.

Not being an expert in microwave resuscitation, I took it along to Mr Hardy in Saltaire, and he re assured me that he would be able to nurse it back to life. I am now sitting by the phone awaiting his prognosis.

Oh! - You're probably wondering what LWM is.......


Life Without Microwave!

Dad Of The Year? - What a Shining Example!

"It's a great honour to be voted dad of the year. I have won many trophies in my career but I'm proud to say that this is up there with all of them. Georgie and Summer are great kids and I love them both dearly.

My family mean the world to me and receiving this award has made me feel extremely proud. Being with the kids and watching them grow up and learning new things everyday is a privilege and I'm honoured to receive this award."

John Terry on winning the Dad of the year Award






Beleaguered England skipper John Terry could lose the armband over claims that he had an affair with the girlfriend of ex-team-mate Wayne Bridge.
It is far from the first time the Chelsea defender has been involved in press controversy. Here's a potted history...

1) If you see the car rocking, don't come knocking
In November 2005 Terry was accused of cheating on then-fiancee Toni Poole in a public car park.

Jenny Barker, 17, said the star sent her sexy texts after she asked for his autograph and later canoodled with her in his Bentley.

She said: "He smiled and put on sexy Luther Vandross music from a selection on a huge screen in the car. One thing led to another but we did not have sex. I didn't want to give in to him like I can imagine every other girl does."

Terry was claimed to have cheated on Poole with nine different women - including one fling with former porn star Karina Clarke.

He said before they married in 2007: "I really regret what I've done to Toni. I'm not going to cheat on her ever again."

2) The nagging doubts
In 2004 Terry and best friend Wayne Bridge, together with Scott Parker, were reported to be gambling £40,000 a week between them on horse races.

Close pals Terry and Bridge were alleged to gave blown £13,000 in just three hours in a Surrey bookies. They later travelled to Las Vegas for Terry's stag night - which was held after his wedding to Poole.

3) The disabled parking bay
In March 2008 there was more car trouble for Terry as England's captain spurned a 50p-an-hour public car park yards away in favour of dumping his black Bentley in a spot for disabled drivers outside Pizza Express in Esher, Surrey.

The subsequent £60 fine was peanuts to a player reckoned then to be on £135,000 a week and who had therefore earned £1,600 in the time it took him to polish off his dough balls and American Hot.

4) The supermarket sweep
In March 2008 Terry's mother and mother-in-law were officially cautioned by police after being accused of shoplifting £800 worth of goods from Tesco.

The supermarket giants then launched a civil action against the pair.

The affair was a huge embarrassment for Terry as Tesco are official England sponsors.

5) The £10,000 guided tour
Last December Terry was accused of taking £10,000 from undercover reporters in return for a private tour of Chelsea's training ground.

Terry told the pair he would give his share of the fee to charity but cautioned them: "If the club finds out, it's a little bit. . ."

6) The nightclub incident
In August 2002 Terry wept with relief after being cleared of attacking a nightclub doorman with a bottle.

He and then-team-mate Jody Morris walked free from court after a jury found them not guilty of causing a fight at London celebrity haunt the Wellington Club.

The court heard trouble had flared when Morris was accused of spillng a drink on the floor and shouting obscenities at a member of staff.

The jury cleared Terry of affray, having an offensive weapon, wounding with intent and unlawful wounding.

7) The 9/11 party
With their flight to an away match at Levski Sofia grounded in the aftermath of the Terror attacks on New York and Washington in September 2001, Chelsea players found themselves at a loose end. Some went home to watch CNN, but Terry Eidur Gudjohnsen, Frank Lampard and Morris had other ideas.

After visiting a couple of pubs - where a "hammered" Gudjohnsen stripped off and threw peanuts at punters while Lampard and Morris urinated in a rubbish bin outside - the group went on to a local bowling alley where they hurled themselves down the lanes and saw former colleague Frank Sinclair, who by now had joined the party, almost decapitated by the pin-changing mechanism.

Finally they ended up in the bar of the Posthouse Hotel at Heathrow, where stranded travellers, many of them Americans, had gathered to watch events unfold on TV. Instead they were treated to the players throwing food around while pictures were shown of sobbing firemen searching through the rubble for the dead, before one player exposed himself to the appalled throng.

Chelsea FC subsequently fined the trio for their behaviour.

8) The 'dealing' dad
Last November Terry's dad Ted was caught on camera appearing to sell cocaine in an Essex bar.

Terry Snr was seen arranging to pass three grams of drug to an undercover reporter in return for £120 and telling him: "This is just between me and you. Don't tell him that I'm John Terry's dad."

9) The wee bit of bother
In February 2002 Terry was fit to burst after visiting the Time and Envy nightclubs in Romford, Essex.

He told friends he needed the toilet but that an injured toe was bothering him - so whipped out his manhood, urinated into a beer glass and dropped it on the floor.

Security staff saw the incident on CCTV and escorted the player off the premises.

10) Ashley's big night out
Trouble occasionally follows Terry's associates around too. Terry was on a night out with Chelsea team-mate Ashley Cole at West London's Collection nightclub when the left-back had an altercation with a press photographer.

Cole subsequently spent three hours in a custody suite was issued with an £80 fixed penalty notice for being drunk and disorderly and allowed to go home.

.... and this is the guy who won Dad of the Year Award!

North Somerset Council - Is Common Sense Prevailing?

Those of you who regularly read my blog, may recall that on December 21st (last year) I wrote a piece entitled "Goodwill to all Men, but not a Certain Maths Teacher." In it I recounted the sad tale of Olive Jones who had been suspended for offering to pray for a sick pupil.

The good news is that after a case review, council bosses have agreed that she can return as a supply maths teacher.

Mrs Jones job was with North Somerset Tuition Service in Nailsea in Bristol. North Somerset Council agreed that it could be appropriate for a teacher to share his or her faith, but a spokeman added, "A careful judgement has to be made."

Whilst on the face of it this seems good news, I would question why on earth there needed to be a suspension, and case review in the first place. Are we, or are we not, a Christian Country? If I wish to speak about my faith to a pupil, and offer what I feel could be help why should I have to make a careful judgement first? Is this country no longer a free country. What has happened to free speech?

An interesting little aside: Only this morning a headteacher colleague asked me to pray for an ex member of her staff who is recovering from an operation for cancer. Should I make a careful judgement before I agree to the request?

A Response to Terrorism

Here is a woman who should run for Prime Minister!
Written by a housewife in New Brunswick , to her local newspaper. This is one ticked off lady.

'Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shores on September 11, 2001 and have continually threatened to do so since?
Were people from all over the world, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown Manhattan, across the Potomac from the capitol of the USA and in a field in Pennsylvania?

Did nearly three thousand men, women and children die a horrible, burning or crushing death that day, or didn't they?

And I'm supposed to care that a few Taliban were claiming to be tortured by a justice system of the nation they come from and are fighting against in a brutal insurgency.

I'll start caring when Osama bin Laden turns himself in and repents for incinerating all those innocent people on 9/11.

I'll care about the Koran when the fanatics in the Middle East start caring about the Holy Bible, the mere belief of which is a crime punishable by beheading in Afghanistan ..

I'll care when these thugs tell the world they are sorry for hacking off Nick Berg's head while Berg screamed through his gurgling slashed throat.

I'll care when the cowardly so-called 'insurgents' in Afghanistan come out and fight like men instead of disrespecting their own religion by hiding in mosques and behind women and children.

I'll care when the mindless zealots who blows themselves up in search of nirvana care about the innocent children within range of their suicide bombs.

I'll care when the Canadian media stops pretending that their freedom of speech on stories is more important than the lives of the soldiers on the ground or their families waiting at home to hear about them when something happens.

In the meantime, when I hear a story about a CANADIAN soldier roughing up an Insurgent terrorist to obtain information, know this:

I don't care.

When I see a wounded terrorist get shot in the head when he is told not to move because he might be booby-trapped, you can take it to the bank:

I don't care.

When I hear that a prisoner, who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special' food that is paid for by my tax dollars, is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:

I don't care.

And oh, by the way, I've noticed that sometimes it's spelled 'Koran' and other times 'Quran.' Well, Jimmy Crack Corn you guessed it,

I don't care!!

If you agree with this viewpoint, pass this on to all your E-mail friends. Sooner or later, it'll get to the people responsible for this ridiculous behaviour!

If you don't agree, then by all means hit the delete button. Should you choose the latter, then please don't complain when more atrocities committed by radical Muslims happen here in our great Country! And may I add: '

Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. But, the Soldiers don't have that problem.'

I have another quote that I would like to add, AND.......I hope you forward all this.

One last thought for the day:

Only five defining forces have ever offered to die for you:

1. Jesus Christ

2. The British Soldier.

3. The Canadian Soldier.

4. The US Soldier, and

5. The Australian Soldier

One died for your soul, the other 4 for your freedom.

The New Terrorist Threat Levels - By Country

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."

The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance."

The last time the British issued a"Bloody Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards".

They don't have any other levels.

This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide."

The only two higher levels in France are"Collaborate" and "Surrender."

The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout loudly and excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing."

Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

"The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to"Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs."

They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose".

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy, can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Americans meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes on all of their allies, just in case.

New Zealand has also raised its security levels from "baaa" to "BAAAA!".

Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the air force being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper airplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister's bath).

New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is "Shit, I hope Australia will come and rescue us".

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to"She'll be alright, mate". Three more escalation levels remain, "Crikey!","I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend," and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Stranded Whale Between Beadnell & Seahouses

A TEN-metre long sperm whale has died after becoming stranded on rocks between Beadnell and Seahouses on Monday.

The mammal, which experts think weighed about 20 tonnes, is thought to have suffered dehydration after losing its way.

The British Divers Marine Life Rescue (BDMLR) said the whale was alive for a time, but could not be saved as the tide was going out.

Sperm whales are the deepest diving mammal and the largest toothed of all whales, feeding on squid and other large deep water fish. They can grow up to 18 metres in length and weigh up to 50 tonnes.

COASTGUARD staff were asked last night to remove the teeth and lower jawbone of a washed up whale after it was targeted by trophy- hunters.

The 10-metre-long male sperm whale was discovered just off a beach near Beadnell, Northumberland early on Monday morning.

The coastguards are aware local people and others from outside Northumberland hope to get a tooth from the whale as a souvenir or to sell it.

Three men from County Durham travelled to the beach at around 3am yesterday seemingly intent on removing teeth.

They were, however, stopped by a cordon being manned by a coastguard team from Seahouses, set up because the carcass is property of the Crown and anything removed from it is regarded as theft.

I loved the comments from Wife in the North's Blog...........

The reports say they were souvenir hunters - perhaps they were just really unlucky tooth fairies. "What job have you got?" "That cutie-pie with the curly blonde hair asleep over there on the pink Princess pillow. What's yours?" "I've got that 25 tonne rotting whale carcass on the Northumberland coast. Swapsies?"

She's Back!

Another little bit of good news……

I opened Internet Explorer this morning, as I am wont to do, and went to the blogs I follow - White Stuff & Wife in the North, and for the first time since 28th September 2009, I found that Wife in the North had contributed a piece on her blog.

This was about the fact that her parents had arrived on the Tuesday before Christmas, and due to the inclement weather had stayed for nearly three and a half weeks! First the roads were blocked by snowdrifts, then there was ice, then it was flooding!

Shocking Figures

We have sets of laws which make it compulsory for anyone working with children to be thoroughly vetted to prove they are safe adults and not likely to assault the children in their care. Every person who works with children and young adults has to have a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau Check) to ensure they are not going to attack, molest or in any way assault the children or young adults in their care)

Yet according to the latest figures (April 2008 – March 2009) sixty sex crimes are committed against children EVERY DAY. This equates to more than 21,000 sex offences against children in the year.

Are we breeding a nation of paedophiles and perverts? What good is it putting an offender on a sex register if he/she cannot be tracked seven days a week, fifty two weeks a year? How many repeat offenders do we have within these figures?

How do the likes of Ian Huntley still manage to get jobs where children are within easy reach? Many of our offenders are given a second chance.

Why not solve the problem of re offending by handing down a sentence of castration for the first offence????

So Whose Rights Are We Protecting Then?

An article in yesterdays Yorkshire Post caught my attention. The headline said….

“Iraqi who stabbed doctors can stay in Britain.”

The article went on to tell the story of paranoid schizophrenic, Laith Alani, who has been imprisoned for nineteen years after he stabbed to death consultant cosmetic surgeons Michael Masser and Kenneth Paton.

The Immigration Office wanted to deport him to Iraq on his release, but the immigration tribunal decided that such a move would breach his human rights and put people in the Middle Eastern country at risk!

Alani, who told the police he carried out the attack because he had received a “command from Allah”, could be set free next year.
A statement from the judgement reads as follows….

If his present treatment were to be discontinued, as seems to be most likely the case if he were to be removed to Iraq, the potential consequences could be extremely serious for Alani himself, and potentially life threatening for innocent third parties around him, in the event of his likely, indeed almost inevitable, relapse into a state of paranoid schizrophenia.

Let’s just have a look at some of the wording in the [previous paragraph.

If it were to be – no certainty that it would be discontinued in Iraq.
Potential consequences could be extremely serious – no certainty here – potential meaning possible.
In the event of – no certainty here either.

So we have a judgement protecting the human rights of a murderer based on maybe’s and possibilities, and as a result of this, we, the British taxpayers are left to pick up the bill and live with the possibility of re offence

So what about the rights of the British Public then?

Nearly a CATastrophe

Amid all the doom and gloom I wonder if you caught the following story......


A man had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck in a tree while trying to rescue a kitten in Southampton.

Two crews from the St Mary's area of the city were called to Harefield Road in Portswood on Saturday night.

A spokeswoman said they were called at about 2200 GMT "to reports of one male stuck in a tree following a failed attempt to rescue a kitten".

The 19-year-old and his cat were safely brought down and both were unhurt.

Eight firefighters and a rural safety officers carried out the rescue, the spokeswoman for Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service said.

Oops! Why Can't I Keep My Big Mouth Shut?

Defence Secretary - Bob Ainsworth

A Cabinet minister has fuelled speculation that the general election will take place on 6 May.

Defence Secretary Bob Ainsworth told Sky News that the public will "rue the day if they wind up with a Conservative government... after the 6 May".

He is not the first minister to suggest inadvertently that the poll, which must be held by 3 June, will happen then. May 6 is seen as the most likely date but Labour sources said Mr Ainsworth had been talking "speculatively".

It is widely assumed that Gordon Brown will call the election for 6 May, the same day on which council elections are being held. Mr Brown said recently there would be a Budget in the spring, which experts said would effectively rule out an election in March or April.

Speaking about the upcoming election campaign, Mr Ainsworth said it was "far from decided" despite the fact Labour is lagging behind the Conservatives in the opinion polls.

"As we begin to focus on consequences of a Tory government, people are beginning to have some doubts about whether David Cameron is the right man," he said. "We haven't lost the election. We need to fight it together with all our strengths and ability and put that choice to the British public because I think they will wake up and rue the day if they wind up with a Conservative government in charge of this country after 6 May."

Health Secretary Andy Burnham was accused of "letting the cat out of the bag" last month about the timing of the election when he spoke of the importance of getting legislation outlawing the unsupervised use of sun beds passed by May - only to correct himself.

Pre-election campaigning has already begun with all the main parties publishing draft details of policies in certain areas.

The Conservatives and Lib Dems both say they are on an election footing as a poll could be called at any time.

Edlington - Is Five Years Too Lenient?

Child welfare campaigners said that they will ask the Attorney General to urge an increase in the minimum term two brothers will have to serve for torturing and sexually humiliating two young boys.

The brothers were given an indefinite custodial sentence by a judge who said they must spend five years in detention before they are even considered for release.

The founder of the charity Kidscape, Michelle Elliott, joined other children's groups in voicing concerns over the sentence, saying the young victims deserved the security of knowing their tormentors could not be released for at least a decade.

Dr Elliott was speaking after South Yorkshire Police confirmed they will consider criminal action against the brothers' parents.
The pair were 10 and 11 years old when they subjected their victims, aged nine and 11, to "prolonged, sadistic violence" during the assault in Edlington, South Yorkshire, last April.

Dr Elliott said: "I'm grateful for the indeterminate sentence but I would have urged a 10-year minimum before they are assessed for release."I will be appealing to Baroness Scotland (the Attorney General). Several groups are doing that."

Dr Elliott accepted that the brothers would not necessarily be released after five years but believed the possibility of them being let out while still only in their mid-teens was too worrying for their young victims, who are roughly the same age.
"I think, for them and their families, they need to have a clear 10 years," she said.

Edlington - Who Is Really To Blame?

When all the political rhetoric and sensational attention seeking headlines have been cast aside, what are we left with? – Two evil boys who committed unspeakable and violent abuse on two children of a similar age.

It is perhaps unfortunate that in and amongst this sad saga Doncaster Council is in the midst of charge and counter charge over its ability to run the social services department, and the recently published reports on the councils failings have done much to mask the true source of the problem.

Blame has been laid at the door of the various agencies that have been involved with the family of the two boys. The finger has been pointed at a lack of cross agency information sharing, lack of leadership, and various other causes, yet the true cause of all this sad case seems to have been overlooked. – The parents of the boys involved.

Going back to basics, I believe that no child is born evil. This has to be allowed to happen during the early years of a child’s growth. The people who allow this to happen are the parents.

It is already surfacing that the family was grossly dysfunctional – “toxic” to use just one of the descriptions of the home life. Which responsible parents would allow their children to watch such video nasties as the Chucky films, or show them pornographic videos? Which responsible mothers would feed their children cannabis?


A relative of the boys who carried out the Edlington attacks has told how their mother would lace their food with cannabis to get them to go to sleep.

She recalled how the brothers grew up in a chaotic household watching horror movies from a young age.
The boys would often be up all night and had even set fire to their own wardrobes in their bedrooms, she said.
"You just knew one day they'd really hurt someone and that is exactly what they've done," she told the BBC.
The woman, who does not want to be identified, said: "They have always been naughty boys, but they could have been lovable kids given the right family."

She said the boys' mother would leave the children, who had been excluded from school, to their own devices.
"From the age of about six or seven they used to watch horror movies, Chucky films, the sort that grown-ups daren't watch.

Is this the picture of a responsible mother?


They often witnessed domestic violence and on one occasion they saw their father threatening to slash their mother's face.
From the age of nine the older brother smoked cannabis and drank cider and the family home saw "routine aggression, violence and chaos".

Is this the behaviour of a responsible father?


"..... A short time later, as police and locals gathered to search for the 11-year-old who was still missing, officers were approached by the attackers and their father. He said his sons had been with him and were not responsible for any attack."

Not only is the father irresponsible, but he actually covers up for his son’s evil attack.

So what about prosecuting the parents?

The parents of two brothers detained indefinitely after they tortured two young boys in a "sadistic" attack could face prosecution, police have revealed.

It’s a bit late now though isn’t it? Talk about shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted. Why in Heaven’s name weren’t they prosecuted years ago, when the boys began offending?

Good Graduate = Good Teacher???

David Cameron - could do better

I did my training to be a teacher in the mid sixties. It was about this time that the powers that be began to realise that to be a good teacher you did not necessarily have to have a top class honours degree. In fact there were many instances when would be teachers entered the profession straight from university with top honours degrees and turned out to be useless teachers.

Going back to my Grammar School days, I recall an English teacher I had who inspired me with a love on the English Language and Literature. He was a teacher who had come into the profession via teacher training college. Another English teacher, who I had during my sixth form days, had come straight from Oxford University with a “first” and, quite honestly was useless as a teacher.

A move was afoot to try to persuade all would be teachers who had obtained a degree to do a shortened teacher training course before entering the profession; however there was one big drawback to persuading graduates to follow this training. If they failed the course they were not allowed to teach! Hence, many “poor” teachers gained entry to the profession by circumventing the teacher training part of the course, and gaining entry to the profession on the grounds of a good degree. Eventually this loophole was closed and all graduates who wanted to enter the profession had to take the teacher training element and pass before they were allowed to enter the profession!

Sadly some of our political leaders have not learnt anything from previous mistakes…..

I read that David Cameron is trying to institute proceedings to obtain teachers by a “Teach Now” fast track scheme to encourage graduate professionals to enter teaching. It is suggested that they must have a degree of 2:2 or above.

Maybe Mr Cameron should realise that a brilliant brain is not the prerequisite of a good teacher. One of the most important facets of a good teacher is the ability to pass on knowledge in an interesting and enthusiastic way.

Let me give you another example of a First Class Honours graduate who didn’t make the grade as a teacher. He lived about eight houses away from where I lived at home, when I was training to be a teacher. He obtained a “First” from Leeds University and got a teaching post at the junior school I used to attend. Within a year the complaints about his lack of ability to teach became sufficient for him to quit teaching altogether.

The last I heard he was playing an electronic organ in a strip club, where, to quote him “The pay wasn’t too good, but the fringe benefits were marvellous!”

Teachers are no longer regarded as the professionals they once were thought of. Parents often take an active stance of disrespect towards teachers, and, sadly, often in front of their own children. If David Cameron wants teaching to be considered an “elite profession”, he needs to get the message across to those parents who treat those faced with educating their children like dirt, that this will not be tolerated.

Turning teaching into an “Elite Profession” is not about upping the entry requirements. It is about instilling respect, giving teachers the freedom to teach, and discipline children, and bringing back some of the natural authority which once characterised the job.

Good teacher does NOT equal High Class Honours Degree. Come on Mr Cameron. As it should say on your current report – COULD DO BETTER.

Is Mr Balls Beginning to See a Bit of Sense?

Sir Roger Singleton & Ed Balls

Is Ed Balls beginning to see a bit of sense or is it (as my cynical brain informs me) just that he is worried about his position in the next election if he doesn't do something about the smacking loophole right away?

Smacking pupils in part-time schools could be banned

Sir Roger Singleton has been asked by Ed Balls to consider the rules on smacking
The loophole which allows corporal punishment to be used in part-time schools is to be scrutinised by the government's child safety adviser.

Children's Secretary Ed Balls is writing to Sir Roger Singleton asking him to urgently consider the rules on physical punishment.
The corporal punishment ban does not cover schools where lessons are taught for less than 12.5 hours per week.
MPs have challenged the use of physical punishments in religious schools.
Mr Balls has written to his chief adviser on the safety of children asking him to re-consider the rules surrounding the use of corporal punishment in "part-time educational and learning settings".


Schools Minister Vernon Coaker has also written to MP Ann Cryer, following her calls in the House of Commons that there should be no exemption from the ban on corporal punishment for "teachers in madrassas or in other religious schools".


Corporal punishment has been made illegal in state and independent schools - but parents are allowed to give their children a "mild smack".


This right to smack extends to those who have parental responsibility, such as grandparents or other family members.
It is under this exemption that adults in part-time educational settings have been able to defend their use of corporal punishment as "reasonable punishment", because they are held to have taken on the status of someone standing in for a parent.


Mr Balls, in his letter to Sir Roger, raises the question of when this interpretation is applied to "religious instruction that children attend at the weekend". "We are keen to establish a clear understanding of the issues here, while mindful of the need to ensure that we do not create any unintended problems," writes Mr Balls.


In his reply to Ms Cryer in the House of Commons last week, Mr Balls said: "The important point to make is that there is not one rule for a child in a madrassa and another for a child in a school or in any other circumstance. "The use of physical punishment against any child is wrong; it is outside the law and is not fair to children. "I do not think that we should tolerate any use of physical punishment in any school or learning setting in which trusted adults are supposed to be looking after children, not abusing them."


But the letters from Mr Balls and Mr Coaker both highlight concerns that if the exemption were to be withdrawn it could cause unintended consequences for families. Mr Coaker suggests that grandparents trying to help support their families could also face a ban on administering punishment.


A spokesman for the Department for Children, Schools and Families says ministers want to clarify the rules surrounding such part-time educational settings, and want Sir Roger to respond by next week.

Mr Balls Should Be Strung Up By Them

Sorry to those of you who are easily offended by my Headline to this article, but I really am incensed.

It seems that there is “One Rule for Them and another One for Us” - but that's not why I am incensed. it's the intransigence of Mr Balls which causes my ire to rise!

How can we have laws in this country which apply to some groups of people, but not to others? Let me cite you an example.

If I were to smack a child in a state school I would be deemed to be breaking the law.
If I was teaching in a Muslim Mandrasah and I smacked a child I would not be breaking the law. FACT.

You may well be asking yourself how can this be – although those of you who are more aware of the realities of some of our MP’s will, no doubt, be not in the least surprised.

Smacking is banned in all State and Private schools, and has been for some time now, however it does not apply to Mandrasahs, where pupils usually study in the evenings or at weekends.

Ed Balls was urged, last week, to close a legal loophole which gives teachers at Britain’s estimated 1,600 schools associated with mosques, the right to smack children. He refused, prompting the claim that he is allowing a culture of physical abuse in some of the mosque schools - or mandrasahs - to go unchecked. The reason this loophole has come about is because the law states that it does not apply to school where pupils study less than 12.5 hours per week.

A report, just over a year ago stated that pupils in mandrasahs had been slapped, punched and had their ears twisted. The former Government Advisor on Islamic affairs said that one mandrasah student was picked up by the leg and spun round, whilst another student claimed a teacher was “kicking in my head like a football.”

In a separate report in 2006, leading British Muslim Dr Ghayasuddin Siddiqui raised fears that physical abuse in Mandrasahs was widespread.

Keighley MP Ann Cryer claims that some of the children being ill treated in Islamic schools are special needs children. “They don’t seem to have any understanding of special needs children. If a child isn’t learning their Koranic verses well, they think it is because they are being naughty, not because they have an incapacity. It isn’t just a question of beating – they have a punishment called the “chicken position” where a child must squat on the floor until they get very uncomfortable.”

A spokesman for Mr Balls department denied that his refusal to change the law was based on fears of upsetting Muslim opinion. “We have no evidence that the law is being abused or that children are being abused in these circumstances”, he said.

So the two reports I have cited above are not sufficient evidence? I just wish I could have personally dragged Mr Ball by the b***s to the school where I used to teach in MORE THAN FIFTEEN YEARS AGO and let him hear some of the tales the Muslim children who attended the Mandrasahs used to tell me. These were also the children who had the greatest difficulty in learning to read (as we do in England – from left to right), because in the Mandrasahs they read from right to left, and if they made the mistake of reading from left to right they were beaten by their teachers. It is small wonder that these pupils found it so difficult to read in English - they were beaten if they read left to right at the Mandrasah.

Wife in the North Where Are You?

I’m bereft! Wife in the North, who inspired me to start this blogging lark hasn’t contributed anything to her blog since 28th September. I usually look at her blog page each week, in the hopes that she is going to restart, but each week all I find is her last blog from September.

Today, when I went to have a look at her blog, all I got was this message……

Sorry! We could not find www.wifeinthenorth.com
It may be unavailable or may not exist.

I have tried following the various links that are given with no success – they all take me back to the message - Sorry! We could not find www.wifeinthenorth.com It may be unavailable or may not exist.

This was the lady we visited whilst we were on holiday in Northumberland, who presented me with a signed copy of her book “Wife in the North” and welcomed us in to her home, where we met the family, including her children, her husband and her mother.

I'm sure I'm not the only one missing your entertaining and amusing blogs.

Looking Back on the Pantomime

The Bentley Family made it to the pantomime in Harrogate yesterday, and, as usual, were superbly entertained by the cast of this years offering – Aladdin. Tim Stedman, who has taken the “Silly Billy” role now for the past ten years was his usual exceedingly stupid self!

What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot? A Walkie Talkie!

The corny jokes came thick and fast, and it being the penultimate performance, I reckon that we only got about 70% of the original script – the rest was made up of very quick fire ad libs. At one point, when one of the backdrops failed to “drop” and the stage staff dropped another one, Abanazar turned to the audience and said, “Well it’s not my usual home, but it’ll do!”

Widow Twankey, almost slipping on the stage during a laundry scene “It’s another of those places they haven’t gritted!”

Then there was Andrew – a specially selected member of the audience, who at one point had to lead the whole theatre in the singing of the silly song. Wishee Washee made the comment, “It’s a pity we haven’t got a follow spot for him.” Almost immediately on came a follow spot bathing him in bright white light, whilst he led us in the singing!

There was the usual chase scene around the whole of the theatre, culminating in Wishee Washee sliding down a ladder from one of the boxes – I’ll bet Health and Safety don’t know about that one, and from time to time characters appeared in the boxes – at one point Abanazar was to be seen trying to persuade Aladdin to get the magic lamp for him whilst he was busily eating sweets (presumably given to him by the children who were in the box he had chosen). Pandora, the Panda appeared in another box playing a guitar during one of the musical numbers.

From my point of view, Abanazar, (the baddie) was the outstanding performer. Whilst oozing threats and menace, he also managed to fill out his part with lots of amusing and funny asides.

All in all it was a thoroughly entertaining evening out!

Aladdin

Providing the weather remains reasonable, Friday will see the Bentley Family Annual outing to Harrogate Theatre for their visit to the pantomime. This has become something of a tradition in the family, as it first commenced when our two oldest daughters were 5 or 6 and has continued unbroken for something like 35 years! In fact for some years now we have been including the grandchildren.

Friday is the penultimate performance, so the cast should be word perfect and no doubt throw in lots of ad libs!

Wishee Washee & Aladdin

This year’s adventure is Aladdin, and tells the story of Aladdin and Princess So-Shy.

Aladdin & the Lamp


Both are in love; however Princess So-Shy’s father, The Emperor of China, forbids such a marriage to a lowly peasant boy.



Princess So Shy

Abenazar (the Baddie)

The dastardly Abanazar has his eye on the lamp and has alternative plans for Aladdin.

Wishee Washee, Widow Twankey & the Emperor of China

The Emperor of China & Aladdin

The Genie of the Lamp

If Aladdin can retrieve the magic lamp from the cave of treasures and bring to life its genie he will have untold wealth to convince the Emperor that he will make a worthy husband for the Princess.

Widow Twankey

Wishee Washee is played by Harrogate favourite Tim Stedman, and with Widow Twankey and a whole host of hilarious colourful characters, we are sure to have a hilarious evening!




Princess So Shy & Aladdin

Princess So Shy & the Policeman

Widow Twankey